


The Rose and The Thorns

by VampireHydeFTW



Category: Versailles (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7743847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireHydeFTW/pseuds/VampireHydeFTW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since the accident the brother's had been inseparable, growing more and more dependant on each other with every passing day. Who cared about a world that couldn't understand them? All they had ever needed was each other, for everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rose and The Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This fic features a strong incestuous theme throughout. (Two brothers). Please do not read if this makes you uncomfortable. There is one scene of questionable consent.

Kamijo clung to his brother as the police officers discussed their fate. Desperately needing comfort from Hizaki, who was clearly as scared as he was, shivering against him though it wasn't cold. The two blond boys around the age of ten, and so very much alike that you would thing they were identical twins. It was true that they had shared a womb, but they weren't identical.

It had been a terrible tragedy that had stolen their parents and family home. A great fire they had witnessed from the bottom of the large garden, safe only because they hadn't been inside. The police thought it had been deliberate, their mother being an important politician, words that the twins hadn't been supposed to hear. They had heard though, and it made things all the worse for it.

“What's going to happen to us?” Hizaki whispered. The younger of the true brothers, by just under an hour, he often looked to Kamijo for advice and usually Kamijo gave it to him. This time he had no idea, and couldn't make up a convincing lie.

“I don't know,” Kamijo confessed, “But I won't let them separate us. Just you watch.”

“You always get your own way,” Hizaki teased. His smile fading quickly as the scent of smoke on their clothes reminded him of the incident. They'd gone running towards the house, screaming for their parents, and were almost hit by a falling roof beam for their trouble. Surely it had been a bomb that had caused such instant destruction. How could anyone have been so cruel?

Just as he was about to start crying again, Hizaki looked up to see the friendly police woman had returned. She'd been nice to them, encouraging them to come with her to the police station. She hadn't talked down to them, telling them the truth in a form they could handle and comforting the resulting tears.

“Hey,” she said gently, “I bet you're wondering what's going to happen to you?”

“Yes,” Hizaki answered, when it was clear Kamijo wasn't going to answer like he usually did. Everything was so reversed now, and he was finding himself being the responsible one. “Are we going to an orphanage?”  
“No,” the police woman reassured him, “We found a couple willing to look after the two of you until social services can find you a more permanent home. Do you want to meet them? They're eager to see you.”

“We want our parents,” Kamijo finally answered, his pain making him angry as well as afraid.

“We can't have our parents,” Hizaki informed him, a little too harshly. It made Kamijo cry, and he felt terrible for it. As if his own pain wasn't bad enough, he felt like he was shouldering Kamijo's as well.

“They're both lovely people,” the police officer reassured Kamijo, “The woman is called Yui, she works as a vet and has happily agreed to take your cat in as well.”

“She's got Mimi?” Hizaki asked. He adored their cat more than anything in the world. Anyone who liked her was a good person in his eyes.

“Our officers spent almost an hour searching for her,” the police officer said gently, “She turned up all on her own.”

“She'll miss us,” Hizaki encouraged Kamijo, “Come on, let's go meet them?”

“I don't want to!” Kamijo complained, “I want Mum and Dad!”

“Dear, that's just not possible,” the police officer reminded him, “And you can't stay curled up in our staff room forever. Why don't you come and meet these people? I'm sure you'll like them.”

“Who's the man?” Hizaki asked, as once again Kamijo was refusing to speak.

“His name is Yamato,” the officer answered, “He works for Sony. He says to tell you that he has a brand new Playstation in his home, with a ton of games.”

“Even Spyro?” Kamijo asked, suddenly interested in the idea. “I was on the final level.”

“You'll have to ask him,” the police woman reminded him. Taking the twins by the hand and leading them to the reception area where the kindly couple waited to pick them up.

 

“Hizaki?” Kamijo called up the stairs as he returned home, “Are you home?”

“Where else would I be?” Hizaki demanded, appearing at the top of the stairs with an annoyed look. His features hadn't changed much in the three years they had lived here. His youth now giving him a striking androgynous look only emphasised by his long blond curls. Kamijo too had grown his hair, but on him the long hair made him look princely. At least Hizaki had always thought so. “Music club was cancelled remember? They're repainting the music rooms.”

“Oh, I forgot,” Kamijo apologised as he ran up the stairs to join his brother, “I was waiting for you like a fool.”

“You never listen, dear brother,” Hizaki scolded, “That's always been your flaw.”

“And yours is that you don't remind me of these things!” Kamijo complained, “You tell me once, and expect the information to be engraved in stone.”

“I expect you to listen,” Hizaki corrected, leading Kamijo to the bedroom they shared. They'd lived in this home ever since they had been originally fostered, recently they had been officially adopted now, but Kamijo was still all the family he had. Without asking he knew his brother saw things the same way, nobody could ever break the bond they shared. Time and time again they had been offered separate rooms, and always they had refused. Perhaps it had been the tragedy of their past that kept them close, or the fact they had been born as twins, whatever it was the brother's were close to inseparable in their free time.

Taking a seat at his desk, Hizaki picked up his guitar again and returned to practice. He was a musical genius, or so the teacher's claimed. In his opinion it had just been endless practise that made him so good for his age. The guitar almost as much a part of him as his brother was.

Nervously Kamijo sat on his bed, glancing over frequently as he pretended to read a manga. There was something he had wanted to discuss with him for awhile now, but always he had changed his mind at the last minute. This time though he knew he had to share what was on his mind. He couldn't keep his feeling secret forever.

“Hizaki, do you ever look at girls?” Kamijo asked, trying to be casual about the whole thing but knowing he was falling short.

“Of course I look at girls,” Hizaki answered, “How could I not?”

“I don't mean literally!” Kamijo protested, “What I mean is, when you look at girls do you ever feel any different?”

“Oh,” Hizaki said quietly, his fingers hovering above the guitar strings. “You're asking if I like any of the girls? Not really, not in the way you're asking.”

“I don't either,” Kamijo admitted, “I should though, shouldn't I? The other boys in our classes are developing feelings, but I'm left as I always was.”

“Maybe we're just too young?” Hizaki asked, “It happens at different times for different boys. We're only thirteen, I wouldn't worry.”

“I don't think I'll ever be interested in women,” Kamijo confessed, “When I read these manga, it's not the women I can't get out of my mind. It's the handsome men.”

“Are you telling me you think you're gay?” Hizaki asked, happy at the concept which surprised Kamijo. Surely his brother should be more concerned? “I have a huge crush on Yoshiki.”

“You do?” Kamijo demanded, glancing up at the poster above Hizaki's bed of the metal band X. He'd known Hizaki loved the band, and that Yoshiki was his favourite, but he hadn't really considered what it meant.

“I do,” Hizaki admitted, blushing now as he shared everything he'd been feeling over the last few months, “At first I thought it was just that I admired him as a musician, or that I admired his image, but it's more than that. I like who he is, what he represents. I admire everything about him and, promise not to laugh, when he wore a dress in the Celebration video, I loved him all the more. I want to copy his style, but Kamijo, I'm so scared.”

“Don't be!” Kamijo ordered, quickly joining Hizaki on his bed and wrapping a protective arm around him, “I won't judge you at all! I think you'd look nice in a dress. You have the right features for it.”

“The other kids will laugh,” Hizaki protested. It was touching that Kamijo was being so supportive, but he knew that other's didn't share his brother's unconditional love for him.

“Let them,” Kamijo ordered, “What do they matter?”

“Musicians do often break gender stereotypes in their clothing,” Hizaki said thoughtfully.

“You can be the princess, and I the prince,” Kamijo promised.

“I'd like that,” Hizaki said, glancing over at his brother. “Very much so.”

“All I want is for you to be happy,” Kamijo reassured him. Gently he leant over and gave Hizaki a light kiss on his cheek, “My dear brother.”

“So, we both prefer men?” Hizaki asked, “I think I prefer it this way. I don't feel so alone.”

“You'll never be alone, not while I'm here,” Kamijo promised. Kissing Hizaki again, this time on the lips. Surprised Hizaki raised his fingers to his mouth, not sure how to react. Kamijo kissed him a lot, on the forehead, the cheek or the back of his hand. They'd never kissed on the lips before, surprisingly it felt nice. Natural, as if they had been born for each other. A prince and princess, could it be?

“This is wrong,” Hizaki worried, “We shouldn't kiss like this.”

“Why is it wrong?” Kamijo asked, “Who are we hurting by sharing our affection like this?”

“No one,” Hizaki admitted, surprised by his own reaction. Surely he should feel something more, but it had only been a kiss.

 

By sixteen Hizaki had grown used to his own identity, dressing as he pleased and freely admitting that he was gay to anyone who asked. For the most part he was accepted by his fellow students and teachers alike, though it had been a struggle to reach this point. Kamijo had always stayed lovingly at his side, even in his darkest moments he had never been alone.

With all things different, time made them ordinary. He walked through the school wearing the girls uniform and no one ever battered an eye. Occasionally a new student might stare, but it didn't bother him. He kind of liked the attention and never shied away from the questions. He wasn't transgender, strongly declaring himself male when anyone asked, he just only felt like himself when he dressed this way. Perhaps it was his honesty that had made him popular? Or his connection to Kamijo, either way the brothers often appeared to run the school.

This particular evening they had been left home alone, while their adoptive parents spend a weekend away. They'd been allowed a party, trusted to keep the guest list small and with only trustworthy friends. It was the kind of freedom that Hizaki had grown used to, so it often surprised him when his friends considered him lucky.

Having your own parents, happy and together, raising you was lucky. Having freedom was something they had earned by never causing any reasons for it to be taken away. Logic and reason served them well, met with open kindness and acceptance from those who had taken them into their care. Hizaki simply didn't understand why his school friends didn't realise that it was their own immaturity holding them back.

“That will be Masashi,” Kamijo said as the doorbell rang early, “I told him he could come a little early.”

“Masashi?” Hizaki repeated, “You mean the guy with the long dark hair? You've been hanging out with him a lot lately.”

“Well he's a lot like us,” Kamijo answered as he went to answer the door. Forcing a fake smile Hizaki watched as Kamijo kissed Masashi's cheek, realising exactly what Kamijo meant. This man was gay, like them, and it was clear that Kamijo shared affections with him.

The jealousy took him by surprise, as he had never thought he might begrudge Kamijo love. It was just that neither of them had ever dated before and he just didn't know how to react. Trying to be objective he could see that Masashi was both handsome and friendly enough. His manners were exceptional, his sense of style elegant and refined. A prince type, Hizaki thought as he watched him, that would be what a host club would categorise him as. Or perhaps the cool older guy? Either type would please Kamijo greatly, almost all the protagonists of his favourite manga and shows behaved this way.

He did his best to ignore Kamijo's flirting, retreating into the other room with some other friends once the party had started. If he didn't think about his brother he found he could have a good time. The music was good, played at a sensible volume as not to annoy the neighbours, his friends all knew how to embrace the freedom in a mature way and they had plenty of laughs. He'd all but forgotten the jealously as the party came to the end. It had been a stupid emotion to feel anyway. Kamijo was his brother, not his lover. Why should he care if Kamijo was interested in a good man?

 

“I didn't see much of you at the party,” Kamijo commented as they were clearing away the majority of the rubbish. It was late, but they had been raised never to go to bed with a mess. “Were you with Yuki the whole time?”

“And some others,” Hizaki answered, surprised by the hostility in Kamijo's voice, “Do you have any problems with Yuki?”

“No problems,” Kamijo answered. He was lying Hizaki realised, though he was scared to ask why.

“So, Masashi seemed nice,” Hizaki said, trying to be tactful. It wasn't always best to ask Kamijo directly, his brother tending to give answers at his own pace and refusing to answer point blank questions when he wasn't sure of the answer.

“He is,” Kamijo agreed, “But he's not like us. He acts like a kid, or perhaps we act too mature?”

“I think it's the later,” Hizaki confessed. He'd noticed this about other kids their own age as well. Compared to Kamijo all other kids could sometimes seem silly and childish. Perhaps they had grown up quicker due to the tragedy in their past? “So, do you think you will be seeing him again?”

“I don't know,” Kamijo replied, “I don't think he's my type after all.”

“Then who is?” Hizaki asked, but his brother wouldn't answer. He'd been to direct, he thought. He'd made Kamijo uncomfortable, “Well you don't need to answer. If the question is to personal?”

“Sometimes I wish I could just date you,” Kamijo teased, “You're my type. A princess, with all the right anatomy beneath.”

“People would hate us if we dated,” Hizaki laughed. Really the whole idea was insane, but as he glanced shyly at Kamijo he sensed that perhaps his brother wasn't entirely joking.

“They'd hate us,” Kamijo agreed, “Because it's disgusting and weird to be attracted to your own brother. It makes people feel disgust and anger. It's probably illegal.”

“I never got why,” Hizaki confessed. This was dangerous, he shouldn't be expressing these ideas, but if anyone would understand what he had to say, it would be Kamijo. His brother always had been the one to understand him when no one else did. “If it's siblings then who is getting hurt?”

“With siblings?” Kamijo repeated, “I can't think of any reason why people react the way they do. There's no conflict of interest there, if both know what they're doing.”  
“I suppose it's about the children?” Hizaki suggested, “Inbreeding and all that.”

“Gay men don't have children,” Kamijo finished, surprising Hizaki with his intensity. He hadn't meant to spark anything but a philosophical debate. Somehow his words had sparked something in his brother he had never seen before. He wasn't quite sure what to make of Kamijo's reaction, only that he felt flattered by it. “Whoever we end up with, it'll never be an easy life. Not here in Japan, maybe not anywhere. Would you say, in that situation, that your choice would be to love whoever you will? Regardless of the consequences?”

“I feel that way to,” Hizaki confessed. Nervously he pushed a blond lock of hair back over his shoulder. Everything he had been feeling was clicking into place, forming a picture that made him feel more than a little indecisive. “You know, I was jealous when I saw you with Masashi. I don't know why.”

“The same reason I hate you spending too much time with other men,” Kamijo guessed. Saying no more he kissed Hizaki on the lips, as he often did when they were alone. He said no more as he returned to the cleaning up, but Hizaki still found himself smiling. It seemed like an impossibility, but it really felt like they'd confessed their love for each other. Surely he was reading too much into the situation?

 

They both woke up late the next day, Hizaki being disturbed from his sleep when his brother got out of bed. Sleepily he watched Kamijo head towards their shared bathroom, admiring his toned body as he always did. He was beginning to understand his emotions better now, knew that his love for his brother wasn't as it should be.

His lack of shame scared him, for it went against everything he had been ever learnt. Loving your brother was never supposed to be romantic, your admiration never sexual, but he couldn't deny his emotions either. The more he tried to use logic to justify his feelings as wrong, the more he concluded that they weren't.

He went about his morning routine deep in thought, turning Kamijo down when he announced he was going to go to the shops and invited him to come. He needed time alone right now, to decide for himself his moral stance on the emotions he was feeling.

Connecting to the internet he began to search through pages and pages on the subject, his findings slowly forming a picture that matched what he had instinctively known. There was no real reason why two siblings shouldn't be in love, other than other's were freaked out by the idea. It hadn't always been this way, marrying cousins had been normal in most countries. If incestuous relationships were good enough for Pharaohs of Egypt, then they were good enough for him. His only lasting question was how much Kamijo actually agreed with him on the subject.

When Kamijo arrived home, shopping bags in hand, he greeted him with a smile. In all their years together Kamijo had never judged him badly for anything. He was the only person he could trust, the only one who would be open enough to understand. Only this time he might just be scaring Kamijo away.

“Did you know Egyptian Pharaohs often married within their own families?” he found himself asking. The question not entirely out of place after their discussion the night before. “For instance Cleopatra married two half brothers before her relationship with Julius Caesar.”

“They were different times,” Kamijo answered, “In some ways it makes me jealous.”

“Don't be,” Hizaki teased, “You're already the embodiment of Ra in my eyes. Just like the Pharaohs”

“Is that so?” Kamijo asked. He hesitated for a long moment before crossing the room to join his brother. His inner conflict clearly as great as Hizaki's own. They were so close to crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed. If they made the final step they could never return to what they had. Hizaki decided that this was a risk he was willing to take.

For the first time it was Hizaki who kissed Kamijo's lips first, wrapping his brother in a hug as he returned his passion. With no reason to hold back he deepened the kiss, relieved and excited as Kamijo took the control from him. He was to be an Egyptian queen, if only in his brother's eyes. It was all so exciting and forbidden. They could never be caught, never tell, but all of that went unsaid. When they were alone, only their opinion mattered.

He felt Kamijo pull away, watching him with curious eyes as he took in his reaction. He knew he must look pleased, willing to do whatever his brother desired. Like many things there was no need to express what he was feeling. Kamijo simply knew.

“Shall we go somewhere more comfortable?” Kamijo asked. Nodding shyly Hizaki led him to his bed, sitting down in the middle and smoothing down the short skirt he had been wearing. Kamijo quickly lay above him, his weight resting comfortably as they kissed once more.

Going further now Kamijo's tongue slipped in his mouth and he clung on all the more, not wanting this to ever end. He was safe, protected and loved. It was all he had ever hoped for, even if it wasn't something that he would have ever considered.

“I always knew we were born to be together,” Kamijo confessed as they broke for air, “I just didn't think that you would ever feel the same.”

“Silly,” Hizaki answered, “Who else would ever understand me like you do?”

“Nobody else is good enough,” Kamijo agreed, “I'm not even entirely convinced that I am.”

“You are,” Hizaki answered. It was as simple as that.

 

With their feelings made clear it was easy for their relationship to progress, although slowly. Every new touch was something they had to get used to, carefully making sure the other was happy with this new advancement of their relationship. It grew easier as time passed and both brothers began to realise that there was nothing holding them back. The lines they crossed every day were beginning to seem meaningless, at least to them. The hardest part was making sure nobody else knew the true nature of their love for each other.

It was a rainy autumn day when they found themselves alone in the house together. Hizaki was practising on his guitar, as he watched the weather through the window. He felt peaceful and relaxed, pleased with his recent advancement to head of the the music club at school. He was following all his passions, though at some point he was going to have to make a decision for his future.

“The weather is terrible,” Kamijo complained as he wandered into the room. He'd been pacing bored for awhile, but Hizaki had chosen to ignore him. If Kamijo couldn't keep himself occupied, then that was his problem. “We can't even go outside.”

“We could,” Hizaki corrected, “But we'd get all wet.”

“Exactly,” Kamijo complained, “Doesn't it make you depressed, sat there watching it?”

“It's beautiful,” Hizaki corrected, “So inspiring. I could watch it all day.”

“And you have,” Kamijo muttered under his breath. Ignoring the comment Hizaki continued to play, wishing quietly that Kamijo would go and do something other than complain. Usually he'd read manga, watch a film or play a video game when he was at home. Sometimes he played the piano, though he often got frustrated and gave up when he made a mistake. Hizaki was sure that if Kamijo had practised as much as he had, he'd be just as gifted, but his brother simply didn't have the patience.

He glanced over after he had been playing for awhile, finding Kamijo sitting silently on the couch watching him. He recognised the look and smiled as he realised exactly what activity his brother had chosen. This was the look he wore whenever he was admiring something he did, a forbidden look that he had to hide from everyone but Hizaki himself.

“My fingers are beginning to hurt,” Hizaki admitted as he placed the guitar down to one side. A lie, he'd been using a pick, but Kamijo didn't question him.

“Come, let me kiss them better,” Kamijo offered and happily Hizaki moved over to his side, mindful not to bury his brother to much in the long skirts of the dress he was wearing. Offering his hand he rested in Kamijo's embrace as his brother gently kissed each finger in turn. It was such a romantic day, he thought as he listened to the rain pour down. He'd spend every day locked away with Kamijo like this if he could. Wasting his life away in his brother's arms. There was no need for secrets here, not when Kamijo already knew them all.

He pulled his hand away from Kamijo and lent over to kiss his brother tenderly on the lips. He wanted this so much it almost burnt inside. Despite all they had done together, they were both virgins and he hoped that today would be the day that this changed.

Kissing him back, Kamijo took the lead as he always did. Dominating the kiss as he gently lay Hizaki down beneath him. They were both smiling as they broke apart, shyly watching the other for any signs that they weren't on the same page.

“Do you want to go to the bedroom?” Kamijo asked, a question that Hizaki could only ever agree to. Eagerly they headed up the stairs, falling onto Hizaki's bed as they kissed once more. Nothing had ever felt so right, but still Kamijo pulled away moments before things got to heated. “Have you ever been with anybody else?”

“No,” Hizaki answered, “You know this. Have you?”

“No one else,” Kamijo confirmed as he pulled a bottle of lube out of his pocket, “Would you object if we used this?”

“I already bought some of my own,” Hizaki admitted, understanding Kamijo's question now. He was asking if they needed protection, something he more than certainly didn't have. Kamijo knew perfectly well he wasn't interested in anyone else, other boys were all so childish and immature. They didn't understand him, not like Kamijo did. He had plenty of friends, but his requirements for a lover were always far greater.

“I feel we waited too long,” Kamijo confessed, “But everything about our love scares me sometimes. Not that we will be found out, but that you will grow bored and find someone else.”

“I'm not bored of you yet,” Hizaki reassured him. With a quick kiss his brother helped him out of the very same dress he had had to help him into earlier. Dressing alone was often impossible for Hizaki, at least at the weekends when he could wear anything he liked. The school uniform was far simpler of course, but then that had to be.

Once naked Hizaki returned the favour until he could see just how much his brother wanted this. Designed to be together he thought, as he fell to his knees and ran his tongue along Kamijo's length. He knew his brother had other plans for tonight, but for now he simply wanted to show him how much he cared.

He pulled away quickly though, and nervously went to lie on the bed with his legs parted. He had to admit that he was almost terrified by what they were doing. What if it hurt? What if he didn't like it? Worse, what if he ended up having to admit to a doctor exactly who had damaged him deep inside. He wanted to scream at Kamijo to be careful, instead he trusted that Kamijo would have done enough research not to cause him pain or harm.

Sure enough Kamijo was coating his fingers with lube, sliding the middle one into him with care and worried compassion. He wanted this to be good for the both of them, Hizaki reassured himself. How could Kamijo want anything less?

It was good too, surprisingly so. He could barely hold back the moans from filling the room. They were so lucky to be alone, surely there was no way they could ever do this and not get caught. It was simply the most amazing sensation he had ever experienced, intensified because it was Kamijo making him feel this way.

“You have no idea how stunning you are,” Kamijo admitted, pulling his fingers away and finding a tissue to wipe them on. “How amazing I feel whenever you give yourself to me. How much I love you.”

“Your love for me, is no greater than my own for you,” Hizaki answered. Pulling Kamijo into his arms, locking their lips in an embrace. Somehow Kamijo found a way to push his length deep inside him, slowly filling him without any pain at all. The connection between them felt complete at last. He had become whole.

 

Perched on the edge of the teacher's desk, Hizaki watched the new students enter the music room. He'd been left in charge of club duties after their teacher had been sent home sick. It wasn't much of a responsibility, the kids in the club used to doing their own things, but today was the start of a new school year which meant a few new members.

Straightening his school skirt he gave the standard introduction speech, ignoring the surprise the new kids wore as they realised that he was a man. He often forgot that it wasn't normal to dress this way, though really the kid with the silver hair shouldn't be starting so hard.

He didn't real feel like being here today at all, missing his brother dearly after they had spent so long together during the school break. Their final school year, he was surely going to have to figure out his future soon. Every time he tried to decide his mind always returned to how he and Kamijo were going to stay together. Perhaps nobody would question two brother's sharing accommodation, just as long as they had a spare bedroom that they pretended was actually used.

Focusing back on the present Hizaki began to pair the new members with those who played the same instrument. As the only guitarist, most others who played this instrument joining bands or creating ones of their own, he found himself with no choice but to take the silver haired boy under his wing. Great, he looked like he belonged in middle school and he was still staring! Perhaps it was cruel to judge him so soon?

“Hi,” the boy said with a huge smile, “I'm Teru. You're Hizaki right? It's an honour to play with you. I mean guitar by the way. Please don't take that the wrong way.”

“Oh I wouldn't,” Hizaki reassured him, “I knew what you meant. It's nice to have another guitarist around.”

“You sure you're not jealous?” Teru asked, “Perhaps I'm better than you?”

“Well isn't that cocky?” Hizaki answered, rather taken back by the boy's attitude. He wasn't offended by him at all, if anything he was intrigued. He'd been to quick to judge, Teru was a silly kid yes, but that was what made him so charming.

“I am good though,” Teru confessed, “Everyone says so, but I have a terrible habit of only messing up on the easy parts.”

“Well that's...” Hizaki began, unable to find the right words, “Well I suppose I need to help you practise the basics then?”

“Something like that,” Teru confirmed, “I mean, if you don't mind? I wouldn't want to be a bother or anything.”

“No, it's fine,” Hizaki promised him, still trying to figure out how he felt about the other student.

“That's good,” Teru answered, “Would you be angry if I told you I think you look beautiful in the girls uniform? I don't know if you're just wearing it as a dare or something, but honestly it suits you so well.”

“Thank you,” Hizaki answered, genuinely pleased by the words. Was that why Teru couldn't keep his eyes off him? He thought he was beautiful? “No it's not a dare, I just dress as I feel comfortable.”

“That's cool,” Teru agreed, tossing his long silver hair over his shoulder, “So, do you want me to back up my claims, when it comes to the guitar?”

“With the claims you made, I think that would be a very good idea,” Hizaki agreed, even though it wasn't like he had any doubts. Something about Teru suggested that the younger boy would find it simply impossible to lie.

 

“You spend a lot of time with Teru,” Kamijo remarked one day, as Hizaki returned from yet another late night practise session with the silver haired boy. Teru was a breath of fresh air in his life, making him smile more often than not. Hanging out with Teru was easy and it made him happy. Why did Kamijo have to ruin it with his obvious jealousy? They lived together, and joined bodies whenever they could, surely that was enough?

“Yes, we're helping each other practise,” Hizaki answered, “Teru wants to start a band some day, which I'm considering. If we can find the members. He knows a boy named Yuu who can play bass.”

“You went to his house yesterday to play on his Playstation,” Kamijo reminded him, “You rarely play with me on mine.”

“What's the matter with you?” Hizaki demanded, “Aren't I allowed to make new friends?”

“Not gay boys who clearly want more from you than friendship!” Kamijo objected, “Open your eyes Hizaki, can't you see how badly he wants you?”

“You don't trust me then?” Hizaki demanded. Not once had he noticed Teru flirting with him, but the other was certainly friendly enough that perhaps he gave that impression. He couldn't even confirm that Teru was into boys, but that did seem likely now that he thought about it. “Because his intentions are meaningless.”

“I trust you,” Kamijo protested, falling quiet on the subject. Knowing he should be angry, Hizaki only felt pity for his brother. He knew how he felt when other's flirted with Kamijo, how annoyed he was that Kamijo would flirt back. He moved over to give Kamijo a quick kiss, pulling back quickly as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. As soon as this school year was over he was going to have to find better living accommodation. Somewhere where they could be together and not risk getting caught every time they showed affection. At least their adoptive father knocked on the door before pushing it open, the silver haired man in question right by his side.

“Hey,” Teru said nervously, “I didn't mean to intrude, it's just that I found your sunglasses and thought I should return them to you straight away.”

“Oh, I thought they were in my bag,” Hizaki said, surprised that Teru had come all this way when he could have just waited until the morning. Across the room Kamijo was clearly furious, and it occurred to him that perhaps Teru had actually stolen the sunglasses as an excuse to come over. “Thank you, for coming all this way. You didn't have to.”

“I know,” Teru replied, “But I don't live far and I had nothing better to do.”

“Perhaps you should find some more hobbies?” Kamijo suggested, his tone calm but his meaning clear. These words Hizaki had often said to Kamijo, when the other was wandering around the house bored. He never meant them to sound hostile, and Kamijo tone suggested the sentiment was as friendly as his own. He knew it wasn't. His brother's jealousy was beginning to bother him. Teru could throw himself naked into his bed, it didn't mean he would betray Kamijo. Why couldn't his brother simply trust him?

“Perhaps my hobbies include returning lost property?” Teru joked, his smile not at all forced. The boy was so innocent that he didn't even realise that Kamijo's words had been a threat.

“If you like walking, perhaps we could go for a wander around the park?” Hizaki suggested. Let his brother sulk, this had nothing to do with him. Smiling Teru agreed to his offer, Kamijo thankfully knowing exactly how unwelcome he was and staying behind.

 

Over the next few weeks Kamijo's jealousy grew and Hizaki found himself spending more and more time at Teru's side because of it. It was a dangerous spiral they were caught in, and eventually it would break. Despite his best efforts to get Kamijo to understand how his feelings hadn't changed, his brother seemed unable to accept it. At least his time with Teru was happy and simple, even if it did make Kamijo's behaviour worse.

Today was one of those days when he had felt the need to escape his brother's attitude. Finding that, as always, Teru was free to spend time with him they had spent the day together and were now sat in the food court of a local shopping centre finishing off their drinks.

“Can I ask you a question?” Teru asked, “How come you call both your parents by their real names? At first I thought one might be a step parents, but that doesn't feel right.”

“Kamijo and I are adopted,” Hizaki found himself confessing, “Didn't you think it was strange that we look nothing like our parents?”

“Now you mention it,” Teru replied, “I was kind of naive not to figure it out wasn't I?”

“I can forgive it,” Hizaki reassured him. He knew Teru wanted to hear more, but would be tactful enough not to ask. “Our parents died in a fire. The police never did figure out if it was set on purpose. Our mother was an important politician, so they assumed it was a bomb. They found no evidence of such, or any cause of it being an accident either. It's still a mystery, I don't know which option would be easier. Neither perhaps?”

“I'm so sorry,” Teru apologised, taking Hizaki's hand between his own, “I didn't mean to bring up painful memories.”

“Kamijo is all I have,” Hizaki finished, “My only real family. The only one who can understand...”

“That's not true,” Teru protested, “There's other's who have suffered like you have. Like Kamijo did.”

“Maybe,” Hizaki reluctantly agreed, glancing up to notice the angry blond glaring at them from across the room. Kamijo was here? Why was he so angry? It was only then that he realised that Teru was still holding his hand. An affection gesture, meant for comfort, but Kamijo wouldn't see it that way. Not when he was already convinced Teru had stolen a piece of his heart. “I'm sorry, I need to go.”

“Why?” Teru asked, glancing over to where Kamijo was waiting. He clearly had no idea what was going on, and Hizaki didn't have time to explain. He needed Kamijo to know what was happening here, and so he ran after his brother as fast as his heels would allow. For the first time cursing his choice to dress like a woman.

 

He didn't find Kamijo until he got home, the other vanishing as suddenly as he arrived. He'd been crying, Hizaki realised in sympathy. He'd been so busy thinking of himself that he had neglected to think about what Kamijo must be feeling. He shouldn't have punished Kamijo for his jealousy, he should have tried to relieve his brother's fears.

“What you saw is all there was,” Hizaki announced from the doorway, conscious that they weren't alone in the house. “I was upset and he was comforting me.”

“Why were you upset?” Kamijo demanded, “What have you got to be upset about?”

“I was telling him about our parents,” Hizaki explained, feeling surprisingly scared of Kamijo right now. He'd never seen him so angry.

“Why does he need to know?” Kamijo snapped, “It's none of his concern!”

“He's my friend,” Hizaki protested, gasping in shock as Kamijo pushed him down onto his bed. Quickly pinning him down, Kamijo glared angrily at his brother.

“And I'm your brother,” Kamijo reminded him, “You don't need Teru.”

“Kamijo,” Hizaki tried to protest. “He's just a friend, I swear.”

“He better be,” Kamijo answered, forcing Hizaki's legs wide apart as he retrieved the lube from his drawer, “I won't forgive you if he's anything more.”

“He's not,” Hizaki promised, accepting Kamijo's angry kiss. He didn't want to do this, not with their parents downstairs and certainly not when Kamijo was so angry. “Kamijo please, not now. It's too dangerous.”

“Not if you're quiet,” Kamijo answered, “Are you saying you don't want me?”

“No, I'm not saying that,” Hizaki answered quietly. Perhaps if he showed Kamijo that their relationship hadn't changed he would let go of this stupid jealousy? So instead of fighting or pleading, he lay back and did his best to enjoy himself. The whole time wondering if this was going to do any good, or if it was even what he wanted. He loved Kamijo, and always will, but there was a darkness in him that he had never seen before. He hated that Kamijo could scare him, with Teru things had always been so easy. Perhaps it was time he made his choice? He certainly couldn't keep things the way they were.

 


	2. Kamijo Ending

Hizaki lay in Kamijo's bed, still thinking over his brother's reaction. He'd been so desperately passionate before, his love so honest and true. How could he have been so cruel to have hurt him for so long? He'd known Kamijo was jealous, and had done nothing about it. Silent tears began to pour down his cheeks, landing on his brother and causing him to wake up.

“Hizaki?” Kamijo asked gently, “What's wrong?”

“I'm so sorry,” Hizaki whispered, “For hurting you like that. I knew that it hurt you when I spent time with Teru, I was being selfish.”

“No, I was wrong to be so angry,” Kamijo apologised, “You would never betray me, you're my Egyptian Queen. I was so rough with you. Can yo forgive me?”

“You were passionate,” Hizaki corrected, kissing Kamijo lightly, “There's nothing to forgive.”

“If you want to spend time with Teru, then I won't stop you,” Kamijo promised, “Just reassure me that there's nothing between you. Do you love him Hizaki?”

“It's a crush,” Hizaki answered, “Nothing compared to our love. I should end it with him all the same.”

“He's too young for you,” Kamijo said, wiping away Hizaki's tears. “We should have talked about this sooner, before it threatened to destroy us.”

“I agree,” Hizaki replied, “I should return to my bed, before we get caught.”

“I swear when we finish school we'll find somewhere alone together,” Kamijo promised, kissing Hizaki once more before his lover left him. His anger had been the storm, Hizaki realised, and now the thunder was gone all was left was the promise of a bright new day. There was just one thing he needed to do.

 

“Teru!” Hizaki called as he found the other student walking down the hall, “We need to talk.”

“We do,” Teru agreed, allowing himself to be led into an empty classroom. He said no more, what he must be thinking Hizaki couldn't guess. He'd been debating with himself all night as to how to end this. Whatever he said was going to hurt the other boy, but leading him on was even worse.

“Yesterday, when Kamijo caught you holding my hand, he thought I was cheating on my boyfriend,” Hizaki explained, “I've sorted everything out with him now, but he made me think over a few things. This might seem arrogant, but do you have feelings for me?”

“I didn't know you were seeing someone,” Teru answered, clearly wanting more of an answer but this time Hizaki wasn't going to give him one. “I have feelings for you, you're not wrong. I didn't know I had no chance.”

“It's my fault,” Hizaki apologised, “Without knowing it, I think I was leading you on. Perhaps we shouldn't see so much of each other?”

“If there's really no chance,” Teru said, surprising Hizaki with his willingness to agree with him, “It'll be painful to be around you now. Knowing I can't be with you.”

“I wish I could have said something that made you happier,” Hizaki said, “You're smile really does light up the world.”

“You'll see it again,” Teru promised, as he got up to go, “We're still going to see each other at music club aren't we? Give it a month or two, maybe then we'll be able to just be friends?”

“I'd like that,” Hizaki agreed, watching Teru go with a little sadness. At least the other boy hadn't begged or pleaded to stay in his life, that would have made it so much worse.

Instead of going to class he remained seated in the corner, staring out of the window as he watched the other students entering the building below. He wasn't like them, never could be. He'd been born with his lover, coming into the world together, to always be by each other's side. Not one of them could understand who he was, Kamijo was the only one who mattered.

Sure enough, it was Kamijo who found him. Slipping into the classroom and silently walking over to wrap his arms around his brother. Who else would have know to look for him here? Who else would have cared enough to search?

“He took it well,” Hizaki informed Kamijo, not needing to be asked the question, “He had a crush on me too it seems. For his own sake he doesn't want to be around a man he can't have. When our feelings fade, then we can be friends again. I won't give up on that hope.”

“When your feelings are gone, you can spend all the time you want with him,” Kamijo promised. “He was the snake in our Garden, you were braver than Eve. You knew to say no.”

“If the bible is true, Adam and Eve's children would have had love like ours,” Hizaki realised, smiling at long last, “Why did we never think of that before?”

“Because, we don't need religion to justify what we already know in our hearts,” Kamijo answered. “Come on darling, let's leave this place for today and find somewhere quiet where we can be alone.”

“That sounds like perfection. I couldn't ever want anything else,” Hizaki answered as he got up, glad that this period of darkness had now come to an end. Soon there would be nothing but Kamijo's light.

 


	3. Teru Ending

Quietly Hizaki slipped out of Kamijo's arms, glad that his brother was asleep at long last. He felt violated by his brother's aggressive actions and needed to get clean. He kept the tears back until the shower was running, crying into the water until, obviously shaken, he sat on the shower floor. Had that been rape? He'd consented, but it hadn't been his choice to do so. Not really. His brother was becoming a monster. Perhaps now was the time to end this illicit affair?   
He was tired of secrets, tired of worrying how his brother would react to everything he did. His soul ached for the simplicity he had with Teru. The boy was younger than him, childish even, but that was no longer something he looked down on.   
He couldn't stay in the shower forever, so he pulled himself to his feet and wrapped himself in a large towel. His make-up was all over his face, he'd forgotten to take it off, so tiredly he reached for the remover and wiped it all away. He looked younger now, his body very much that of a man, though his features were androgynous as they always had been. Did he dress as a woman to please Kamijo, or himself? Both perhaps, but he didn't want to let the dresses go. It must have been his own decision all along, but he could think of other things that were not.   
He returned to the bedroom, and got into bed without bothering with any clothes. What did he have left to hide from his brother? Only what he felt deep inside. His sleep was restless, and when he woke up Kamijo was gone. Perhaps it had all been nothing but a bad dream. No, that was too much to hope for.

“Teru!” Hizaki called as he found the other student walking down the hall, “We need to talk.”  
“We do,” Teru agreed, allowing himself to be led into an empty classroom. He said no more, what he must be thinking Hizaki couldn't guess. All he knew was that his usual smile was long gone, and that this was his fault.   
“I'm sorry, for having to run off like that,” Hizaki apologised, “I didn't mean to abandon you.”  
“You had to talk to him, I get it,” Teru answered, “No harm done.”   
“So we're good?” Hizaki asked, relieved when Teru agreed.  
“Just a little hurt you didn't tell me about your boyfriend. That was why Kamijo was angry with you wasn't it? He thought you were cheating,” Teru answered, “You led me on Hizaki, I thought you might have feelings for me. I guess I was wrong. Maybe that's my fault?”  
“I was leading you on,” Hizaki confessed, “But only because my feelings for you are real. Please Teru, if you really are interested, please don't let go of those feelings.”   
“I can't be the other man,” Teru answered, “I'm sorry Hizaki, but I think that we shouldn't spend so much time together. I can't be around you, not while there's no chance of this ever becoming anything more.”   
“Please, don't leave,” Hizaki begged as Teru began to walk away. He couldn't handle this, not after everything that had happened. He needed Teru, he'd been a fool to think that what he had before was all right. It was toxic, his love for Kamijo poisoning them both more every day. “It was Kamijo.”  
“What was?” Teru asked, pausing with one hand on the door knob.   
“The man that I was dating,” Hizaki explained, “It was Kamijo.”  
“Isn't he your brother?” Teru asked, visibly shocked by the confession.   
“It's OK if you hate me,” Hizaki said, a voice in his head screaming at him for lying to the boy he adored, “Even if you tell people, we'll only deny it, but at least know it's over. Or will be.”   
“I've heard so many cruel comments about homosexuals, that I know better than to judge others,” Teru answered, his logic so very much like Hizaki's had once been, “I can't pretend that it doesn't make me uneasy, but I don't hate you. I certainly won't tell. Especially if it really is over.”   
“I don't even know where to begin ending it all,” Hizaki confessed, “He's going to be so angry and hurt. He'll think he was right, that I had been betraying him all this time. I care too much about him to hurt him like that, but how else can I be free?”   
“I don't know what to suggest,” Teru answered, “I'm only fifteen! Perhaps you could talk to the school councillor? You don't need to tell him everything, just what you're comfortable with.”   
“I'm not comfortable telling him anything,” Hizaki answered. “He can't help anyway. I know what my choices are, and both lead to someone I care about getting hurt.”   
“I'm here for you,” Teru promised, gently kissing Hizaki on the cheek, “But we need to get to class. I'll try and think of something that can help you.”   
“It's my mistake to fix,” Hizaki reassured him, “But thank you anyway.” 

“What the hell are you doing in here?” Kamijo snapped as he blocked the doorway to what had once been the guest room.   
“Yamato said I could move in here,” Hizaki answered. Their adoptive father had been delighted to hear he final wanted his own room, praising him for finally finding his independence. “I think I got all my stuff.”  
“Why would you want to move in here?” Kamijo demanded, “What happened to us?”   
“That's the other thing,” Hizaki said, ready to scream for help this time if things went bad, “I think we should break up.”  
“Because of Teru?” Kamijo snapped, “I always knew he'd be the end of us!”  
“Because of you!” Hizaki angrily snapped back, “I can't handle your jealousy and temper! Teru is sweet and kind, but I never would have broken up with you for him. You've got a darkness in you, which quite frankly scares me. So yes, I admit freely I'm leaving you for Teru, but it was your own god damn fault!”   
“If you had a problem with me, you should have told me!” Kamijo angrily snapped, storming off to his own room and leaving Hizaki alone in his new room. It was terrifying not being with Kamijo, he didn't know how he was going to handle this at all. It was the right decision though. He needed someone who made him smile, who he could hold hands with in public, someone who loved him without taking over his entire life. He needed to be normal. 

“How did it go?” Teru asked, shyly taking Hizaki's hand in his own.  
“He's so mad he will hardly talk to me,” Hizaki admitted, “But I don't think his anger will last forever. I hope not anyway. I want us to be brothers again, in a normal way. What we had was wrong, but not in the way people think.”  
“Why do you think it was wrong?” Teru asked gently. He was so loving and supportive, no wonder he had been the one to steal away his heart.   
“When I was with him, we were so close that we blocked off everyone else in our life,” Hizaki tried to explain, “I've become closer to our parents in the last few days, than I have in all the years we've lived with them. I never respected my friends, not really, but now I can see them for who they are without judging them against the impossible standards Kamijo and I set for the world. It's wrong to have one person and block off everyone else. That's why the relationship turned toxic in the end.”   
“Perhaps you need some time alone?” Teru suggested, “To appreciate everything you have, before tying yourself to just one person? I can wait, if that future person might be me.”   
“We can date,” Hizaki reassured him, his heart warming to the honest smile Teru wore at hearing his words, “But slowly. You're too young to know what's good for you, I know I was when I was your age. Even if you argue that reasoning, I still need time to adjust.”   
“Slowly then,” Teru agreed, “On one condition. I still get to kiss you?”  
“Well,” Hizaki teased, “I don't think so.”   
“What?” Teru complained, “Why? That's going slow!”  
“Because you need to learn how to respect your elders,” Hizaki answered, leaning over to give Teru a gentle kiss, “And accept that they're the one's who are going to kiss you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: There are two endings to this fic, depending on who you believe Hizaki should end up with. For anyone wishing to read both I recomend you start with Kamijo's.


End file.
